Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.

The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.

I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

I've been thinking Hobbes" "On a weekend?" "Well, it wasn't on purpose

You can make your superhero a psychopath, you can draw gut-splattering violence, and you can call it a "graphic novel," but comic books are still incredibly stupid.

Hey Dad, will you buy me a flame thrower? Of course not. Don't be silly. Even if I didn't use it in the house?