What I try to do in writing any character is to put myself in his position.
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?
I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.
It's always better to leave the party early.
Even when you look for it, you're never prepared for it.
Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! ...Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.