Never trust anybody with only one book.

American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head -- supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.

I’m actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white.

I've never done a comedy club in my life. It's weird because I don't have the same background as most comics. I don't have a history of going up and only doing eight minutes.

I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience. There's a fine line you have to tread because you don't know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.

If you don't know how to meditate at least try to spend some time every day just sitting.

In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it's folded.