I'd worship the ground you walked on if only you walked in a better neighborhood.

A director must be a policeman, a midwife, a psychoanalyst, a sycophant and a bastard.

[about the Hotel Marmont on Sunset Blvd., a piece of Hollywood history] I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel.

One's too many and a hundred's not enough.

Marilyn was mean. Terribly mean. The meanest woman I have ever met around this town. I have never met anybody as mean as Marilyn Monroe or as utterly fabulous on the screen.

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

I hate that word. It's return--a return to the millions of people who've never forgiven me for deserting the screen.