One's too many and a hundred's not enough.

Jerry: Oh, you don't understand, Osgood! Ehhhh... I'm a man. Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect.

Hollywood didn't kill Marilyn Monroe, it's the Marilyn Monroes who are killing Hollywood.

[about the Hotel Marmont on Sunset Blvd., a piece of Hollywood history] I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel.

The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that Hitler was a German and Beethoven an Austrian.

The ultimate trick is to convince, persuade. Every single person out there is an idiot, but collectively they're a genius.

If you have a problem with the third act, the real problem is in the first act.