If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

France is a place where the money falls apart in your hands but you can't tear the toilet paper.

When Chaplin found a voice to say what was on his mind, he was like a child of eight writing lyrics for Beethoven's Ninth.

Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else's.

The Austrians are brilliant people. They made the world believe that Hitler was a German and Beethoven an Austrian.

My English is a mixture between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Archbishop Tutu.

A bad play folds and is forgotten, but in pictures we don't bury our dead. When you think it's out of your system, your daughter sees it on television and says, My father is an idiot.