I grew up in a mixed religious household. And it was volatile. My dad's atheist, my mom's agnostic. Just constant fighting. There's no God! There might be!

I love my hunting dog. I loved my hunting dog - I'm not very good at hunting.

I saw the head of NOW - National Organization of Women - saying that women still only make 70 cents on the dollar to every man. I'm not sure I'm going to believe that. Women are notoriously bad at math.

When one door closes another door opens. Usually a refrigerator.

I grew up in a mixed religious household. And it was volatile. My dad's atheist, my mom's agnostic. Just constant fighting. There's no God! There might be!

My sister is also retarded. Across the board. She's a one hundred per cent, honest to goodness, born that way retard. I learned a long time ago that if you're going to tell a story about your retarded sister, you need to mention she's retarded right off the bat or inevitably, at the end of the story, someone will say, What... is she, retarded? And then you have to go, Uh... yeah, she is. Followed by a lengthy, awkward silence.

If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession.