There's no such thing as a feminist - just women who pay for their own breast implants.

You know, women are burdened with all this other crap all the time, like looking good. You need to be really superhuman to be successful as a woman.

When one door closes another door opens. Usually a refrigerator.

I could never be a lesbian because I have a really good sense of humor.

It's interesting, once I have convinced people that, yes, I have a sister with a mental disability, the retard jokes really dry up, so I'm not sure how much retard humor is really going on out there, but I imagine there's a lot because it's a pretty safe group to make fun of. It's not like the Retards of America are gonna rise up and organize a protest. They're not gonna write letters. They only just recently got the Supreme Court to stop executing them.

I grew up in a mixed religious household. And it was volatile. My dad's atheist, my mom's agnostic. Just constant fighting. There's no God! There might be!

If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior - unless you're Jewish.