I bring up God alot in my show, know why? Because I miss him.

I don't hate cats...as long as they stay on the freeway, where they belong.

When you're at a comedy club, if you're not funny, you don't work. People will let you know, whether it's by booing or yelling for you to get out of the club. People are drunk or whatever and they'll let you have it.

Oh, I know: If you're fat, let's not blame you, let's sue McDonalds! Oh, for cryin' out loud, hey, if you smoke, not your fault, it's the tobacco company's fault! Hey, if you shoot somebody, not your fault, let's blame the gun industry!

The truth is supposed to hurt. That's how it lets you know you don't got it.

Because when the Creator of matter, tell you you matter, then you have a purpose and then you have self-esteem.

Comedy, if it's done well, can reflect the mood of a nation. It can be a mirror to who we are, what we believe in, what we are like.