When you're at a comedy club, if you're not funny, you don't work. People will let you know, whether it's by booing or yelling for you to get out of the club. People are drunk or whatever and they'll let you have it.

The wussification of America is killing us by teaching us to censor ourselves from what we believe. That's why I want to see political correctness die in my lifetime, but first... I want to watch it suffer.

If the truth conflicts with my beliefs, I change my beliefs.

Because when the Creator of matter, tell you you matter, then you have a purpose and then you have self-esteem.

I bring up God alot in my show, know why? Because I miss him.

Who is more irrational, the guy who believes in a God he can't see, or a guy who's offended by a God he doesn't believe in?

If you can't say something nice... about an overrated, ungrateful European nation that would have been wiped off the face of the earth twice in the twentieth century if it weren't for the United States and which has given nothing to the culture in the past two hundred years but whine and cheese, both of which are made better in California, then don't say anything at all!