When you're at a comedy club, if you're not funny, you don't work. People will let you know, whether it's by booing or yelling for you to get out of the club. People are drunk or whatever and they'll let you have it.

You're not a bunch of people lock-stepped with the politically correct. Oh no! Don't shoot the animals! They might get their feelings hurt!

People don't realize, or maybe they've forgotten, that there was a time in history when standup comedy wasn't something that you had to hide your kids' ears from.

You know what offends me? Offended people. In a country with guaranteed rights to freedom of religion, its citizens are constantly trying to make faith in public spheres illegal, I am offended by that contradiction and want to talk about it as a comic.

Oh, I know: If you're fat, let's not blame you, let's sue McDonalds! Oh, for cryin' out loud, hey, if you smoke, not your fault, it's the tobacco company's fault! Hey, if you shoot somebody, not your fault, let's blame the gun industry!

Conservative concepts believe in little government - take care of yourself, and that makes men who invent things like the constitution! Liberal thought has big government - we'll take care of you - and that creates boys and they create things like Occupy Wall Street! There's a difference between the way men and boys behave.

Because when the Creator of matter, tell you you matter, then you have a purpose and then you have self-esteem.