I try not to be hateful.

When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, "And now his watch is over." That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, "And now his tour is done."

I'm in awe of comics that do things that I can't do, or haven't tried doing yet.

I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.

I don't get all the anger that is thrown at comedians.

I'm such a damn workaholic, that it's interesting to be like, "Oh, what do I do for fun?"

If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you'd be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.