You cannot talk about race without talking about privilege. And when people start talking about privilege, they get paralyzed by shame.

Maybe stories are just data with a soul.

I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.

Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.

If we own the story then we can write the ending.

I now see how gifts like courage, compassion, and connection only work when they are exercised. Every day.

One of the most painfully inauthentic ways we show up in our lives sometimes is saying "yes" when we mean "no," and saying "no" when we mean "hell yes." I'm the oldest of four, a people-pleaser - that's the good girl straitjacket that I wear sometimes. I spent a lot of my life saying yes all the time and then being pissed off and resentful.