If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can't survive.

We are a culture of people who've bought into the idea that if we stay busy enough, the truth of our lives won't catch up with us.

Vulnerability pushed, I pushed back. I lost the fight, but probably won my life back.

That's really part of being a grounded theory researcher - putting names to concepts and experiences that people have.

Worthiness doesn't have prerequisites.

Shame works like the zoom lens on a camera. When we are feeling shame, the camera is zoomed in tight and all we see is our flawed selves, alone and struggling.(page 68)

We are so busy that the truth about our lives can't catch up.