That's really part of being a grounded theory researcher - putting names to concepts and experiences that people have.

I think a lot of us are looking for the same thing.

When perfectionism is driving us, shame is riding shotgun and fear is that annoying backseat driver!

Who we are matters immeasurably more than what we know or who we want to be.

It's about showing up. And sometimes I don't do it. I almost always regret it, but sometimes I don't do it. Sometimes I walk into a situation where I'm intimidated and I want to be liked and I want to fit in, and I don't choose authenticity. And it's always pretty miserable.

Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?" If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.

The truth is, rarely can a response make something better - what makes something better is connection.