I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one.

Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes.

Being thick isn't an affliction if you're a footballer, because your brains need to be in your feet. And Beckham works hard, he's brave and he crosses a ball superbly. He treats a football like he does a wife, lovingly, with caresses.

Come and see my coaching certificates - they're called the European Cup and league championships.

We used to go to the pictures every Saturday night but we had to leave a little bit early and get home and watch Match of the Day - and my wife still complains she missed the last five minutes of every film we saw.

For all his horses, knighthoods and championships, he hasn't got two of what I've got. And I don't mean balls!

Beckham? His wife can't sing and his barber can't cut hair.