Being thick isn't an affliction if you're a footballer, because your brains need to be in your feet. And Beckham works hard, he's brave and he crosses a ball superbly. He treats a football like he does a wife, lovingly, with caresses.

I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud.

If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well.

If God had wanted us to play football in the sky, He'd have put grass up there.

The river Trent is lovely, I know because I have walked on it for 18 years.

Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes.

We used to go to the pictures every Saturday night but we had to leave a little bit early and get home and watch Match of the Day - and my wife still complains she missed the last five minutes of every film we saw.