Grew up in a small town where there was only one crazy guy. He didn't even go insane doing anything good, like going to 'Nam or having an extended acid trip. Turns out - legend has it - he just had some bad cheese.

I do think certain kinds of music can make you violent. Like, when I listen to Nickelback, it makes me want to kill Nickelback.

Just got a new car - got a little Miata convertible. Pretty happy about it, except for one thing: I'm 6-foot-6, so now I look like a McDonald's toy.

I got into Kiss before I got into anybody. The first thing I heard was Detroit Rock City. I heard it in the school library, where I lived.

Always been a big heavy metal fan. I remember being 15 saying, Dude I'm going to love heavy metal forever. Heavy metal til I'm 60. I'm 35 now. I think I'm going to give it one more year.

I wanted to be a vet before I got into comedy, but then once I found out how much gore goes into that job, I wanted nothing to do with it.

When I'm late it matters, but when everybody else is late it doesn't matter... If that's the rule then just write it down and then I know, you know... I'll read it and I'll write it down on my balls. Right here. Right here on the back of my balls is where I'll write it. On the very back. I'll just lift them and write it nicely.