Like, I'm trying to make a statement that clean comedy is somehow better or loftier than dirty comedy, and I don't feel that way at all. I just think it's different. It's different. There's rock music, there's jazz music, there's reggae music: All of those forms are different.

Don't let dialog about your company happen without your perspective.

It means a lot to me to have my kids like what I do. And that's why I limit them. But I don't want to put that pressure on them to be a fan of mine.

Why are people getting on elevators shocked to find people getting off elevators?

Some people look at creamed corn and ask, 'Why?' I look at creamed corn and ask, 'Why not?'

You ever say a phrase you say all the time at the wrong time, feel like a complete idiot? Something like, 'You, too. You, too.' I was getting out of the cab at the airport, and the driver goes, 'Hey, have a nice flight.' 'You, too. You, too. You have a nice flight, too - in case you ever fly some day.

I took a speed reading course and my speed shot up to 43 pages a minute, but my comprehension plummeted.