Hey, you know who I feel bad for? Arab-Americans who truly want to get into crop dusting.

Do not stand directly in front of a cannon...how true that is.

You know what's fun? You pick somebody at random, like out of the phone book, and send them about 100 'Just Because' cards. They can't even ask you why you did it.

Hooked on Phonics worked for me.

Superhero power... I probably would just want to fly. I definitely would not want to be able to see through walls. I think walls are there for a reason. People put them up for a reason. You don't want to be looking through them. That would only cause nothing but misery and angst to know what's happening behind people's walls.

Even though I have fond feelings for comedy clubs, I enjoy the focus you get in a theater. Comedy clubs are a different animal. People are being served nachos and there's a blender going off in the background.

I could go for a sandwich, but I’m not gonna open two jars.