What kind of tea do you want?" "There´s more than one kind of tea?...What do you have?" "Let´s see... Blueberry, Raspberry, Ginseng, Sleepytime, Green Tea, Green Tea with Lemon, Green Tea with Lemon and Honey, Liver Disaster, Ginger with Honey, Ginger Without Honey, Vanilla Almond, White Truffle Coconut, Chamomile, Blueberry Chamomile, Decaf Vanilla Walnut, Constant Comment and Earl Grey." -"I.. Uh...What are you having?... Did you make some of those up?

Scott: I don't think I'm ready to be a grown-up. Kim: I don't think you are either, buddy. But hey, you'll get it. It just takes practice.

‎All my stupid little thoughts beget stupid little thoughts, rampantly speculating every possible outcome of every possible situation until they're all done to death and none of them could ever be true.

Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. I would punch your life in the face.

Let's be friends based on mutual hate.

Bryan Lee O'Malley has been alive since he was born and will lives until he dies.

Okay, this might sound vague, but do you know this one girl with hair like this?