Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. Because you'll be dust on Monday. Because I'll be pulverizing you sometime over the weekend. And the cleaning lady... cleans up... dust. She dusts. And she has weekends off, so... Monday. Right?

Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. I would punch your life in the face.

Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags.

Scott: I don't think I'm ready to be a grown-up. Kim: I don't think you are either, buddy. But hey, you'll get it. It just takes practice.

Kim: Hey... There's a guy over there with a samurai sword. Scott: Really? Like a katana or a wakizashi or both?

I need some kind of... like... last minute, poorly-set-up deus ex machina!!

Kim: "What, a coffee? Hollie, I have some bad news. I hate you, okay?" Hollie: "You hate everyone, Kim." Kim: "You're one of everyone.