Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags.

Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. Because you'll be dust on Monday. Because I'll be pulverizing you sometime over the weekend. And the cleaning lady... cleans up... dust. She dusts. And she has weekends off, so... Monday. Right?

Anyway, how are you and Ramona doing?' Uh... you know. Pretty good.' Have you said the L-Word yet?' The L-Word? You mean? Lesbian?' Uh... No. The other L-Word.' ?' Okay. Uh, It's "love." I wasn't trying to trick you or anything.

Bryan Lee O'Malley has been alive since he was born and will lives until he dies.

Okay, this might sound vague, but do you know this one girl with hair like this?

Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags.

Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon.