I've always gotten along well with Texans. You've got to.

I'm paying the third highest alimony and child support in the world. And the only two ahead of me are sheiks.

The audience will always forgive you for being wrong and exciting, but never for being right and dull.

I had known Hal [Needham] for a while by the time he moved in, so I was sure we'd get along well, and we did. He'd go off and do his gigs and I would do mine, and when we were lucky we got to work on the same ones.

There are no awards in Hollywood for being an idiot.

Our family really didn't have a car; we had my dad's police cruiser. Later he got a Buick, and that's what I was driving when I had a wreck. I'm lucky it was as big and strong as it was, because that Buick is what saved my life.

I can sing as well as Fred Astaire can act.