If you read all your history books, there are no women in them.

The word barren tells you everything you need to know...The word spinster tells you everything you need to know about our attitude of women who choose not to marry... Imagine if you saw George Clooney on the cover of a magazine every week with, is George broody? Is George going to adopt a baby? When is George going to have another kid? It would just seem weird. We'd seem demented, yet it's totally valid for women.

I could have written a misery memoir and instead I tried to make it funny. I never complained.

But as the years went on, I realised that what I really want to be, all told, is a human. Just a productive, honest, courteously treated human.

If you eat enough books, you start pooping out words.

When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear!’, what she really means is, ‘There’s nothing here for who I’m supposed to be today.

Feminism, as it stands, well... stands. It has ground to a halt.