My core belief is that if you're complaining about something for more than three minutes, two minutes ago you should have done something about it.

I’m neither ‘pro-women’ nor ‘anti-men’. I’m just ‘Thumbs up for the six billion

I could have written a misery memoir and instead I tried to make it funny. I never complained.

When I hear women talking about how their wedding is going to be/was the best day of their life, I can’t help but think, You just haven’t taken enough MDMA in a field at 3 a.m., love.

It's always sunny above the clouds. Always. Every day on earth - every day I have ever had - was secretly sunny, after all.

If you can find a frock you look nice in and can run up three flights of stairs, you're not fat.

Let's all go and be feminists in the pub.