The problem with battling yourself is that even if you win, you lose.

The first thing to improve society is not banning abortion, but making sure that everyone who had a child is in the best position to be able to rear it.

Benedict Cumberbatch is very beautiful.

When I hear women talking about how their wedding is going to be/was the best day of their life, I can’t help but think, You just haven’t taken enough MDMA in a field at 3 a.m., love.

I just want Tina Fey to be my best friend. And Lena Dunham. And Oprah, too.

For me, and I suspect a lot of socially awkward people, dealing with people face-to-face seems really traumatic. Particularly if you have massive sweating issues, and particularly if on top of that you have quite smelly sweat that smells like onion soup.

My core belief is that if you're complaining about something for more than three minutes, two minutes ago you should have done something about it.