If you're not a confident person, pretend to be one.

Feminism, as it stands, well... stands. It has ground to a halt.

You think it doesn't really matter if you screw up this time around because you can just sort it all out in paradise

Heaven. The biggest waste of our time we ever invented, outside jigsaws.

You can always tell when a woman is with the wrong man, because she has so much to say about the fact that nothing's happening. When women find the right person, on the other hand, they just... disappear for six months, then resurface, eyes shiny, and usually about six pounds heavier.

I could have written a misery memoir and instead I tried to make it funny. I never complained.

I have a rule for working out if the root problem of something is, in fact, sexism. And it is this: asking 'Are the boys doing it? Are the boys having to worry about this stuff? Are the boys the centre of a gigantic global debate on this subject?