Everything was blamed on Castro. Mudslides in California. The fact that you can't buy a decent tomato anymore. Was there an exceptionally high pollen count in Massapequa, Long Island, one day? It was Castro, exporting sneezes.

There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.

We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.

There's always a source for humor.

Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.

Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are trying to palm off McGovern buttons and Howdy Doody puppets and their Aunt Thelma's toaster as antiques.

Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.