A new regulation for the publishing industry: "The advance for a book must be larger than the check for the lunch at which it was discussed.

As part of my research for An Anthology of Authors' Atrocity Stories About Publishers, I conducted a study (employing my usual controls) that showed the average shelf life of a trade book to be somewhere between milk and yoghurt.

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food.

Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are trying to palm off McGovern buttons and Howdy Doody puppets and their Aunt Thelma's toaster as antiques.

If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?

One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen.