Avoid restaurants with names that are improbable descriptions, such as the Purple Goose, the Blue Kangaroo or the Quilted Orangutan.

I don't mind being interviewed on television or radio.

Kerr's Three Rules for a Successful College: Have plenty of football for the alumni, sex for the students, and parking for the faculty. If law school is so hard to get through, how come there are so many lawyers?

We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.

Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food.

At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.

In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.