How did Italy manage to end up with no Caribbean islands at all? Christopher Columbus took the trouble to discover the Caribbean personally before the end of the fifteenth century. Try to get a decent plate of spaghetti there now.

You know, I used to say, when people say, 'How do you think about what to write about in the poems every week?' And I say, 'Well, I have to turn it in on Monday, so on Sunday nights I turn the shower to iambic pentameter and it sort of works out that way.'

Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are trying to palm off McGovern buttons and Howdy Doody puppets and their Aunt Thelma's toaster as antiques.

Irving Wallace family - they have preservatives.

People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them.

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

The ceiling on taxation of capital gains reflects the national belief that speculation is a more worthwhile way to make a living than work.