The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.

Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.

There's always a source for humor.

With humor, it’s so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.

I've always thought that parallel parking was my main talent.

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.

Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.