If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

At the end of the day, I don't think I am going to be judged by what happened in the 90's and 2000's, at the end of the day my career will be judged from beginning to end and everything in between.

Great soul of Gandhi, cover your ears. You will not want to hear this! Listen, you inbred piece of Ku Klux Krap! You white people love to be racist, but the only races you can tell apart are Indianapolis and Daytona. I hope I am reincarnated as toothpaste, so I never have to see you again. Now take your twelve-pack of wife-beating juice and get the park out of my store!

In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else's joke.

Hurricane Katrina was caused by political correctness. I said it!

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.