When I was young and didn't have money, I liked gambling because winning and losing was fun for the rush of it. The amount of money that I would have to put down now to get that rush, there is no f'ing way I'm going to do it. It's just stupid. I would rather get that rush some other way.
Carlos MenciaAnd for all of you at home, you are all welcome to visit my store. You are also welcome to park off you motherparking parks, and go park yourself. But remember, don't park in a handicapped spot.
Carlos MenciaI am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.
Carlos Mencia