If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!

I was born in Honduras, that's where I was born. I live in California, where no matter what you say, you're Mexican. You understand that? It doesn't matter what you say. See - you don't understand that, white people, because wherever you go, you're white. You're here, you're white. You go to L. A., you're white. You go to Denver, you're white. You go to Miami, you're still white. In L. A. I'm a Mexican, In Florida, I'm a Cuban. In New York, I'm a Puerto Rican. And when I come to Canada and I find out I'm an Eskimo.

Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.

When women can't climax, it's our fault, but when we can't get an erection, we have to go to the doctor.

Why are we rebuilding New Orleans? Whose idea was this, Aquaman?

Do you think we care about the feelings of Native Americans when we celebrate Columbus Day? That's the day that the white man discovered a land where Indians had been living for a few thousand years.

Hurricane Katrina was caused by political correctness. I said it!