If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!

Hurricane Katrina was caused by political correctness. I said it!

Here, let's go to my dressing room, and I promise, I'll only put it in for a second.

When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas.

We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?

I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels.

Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.