I don't want to spend my time thinking about somebody else, I want to spend my time just being me and embracing life and living it and being there. At the end of the day, I'm responsible for my words and my thoughts and that's how I live.

That's not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news!

Here, let's go to my dressing room, and I promise, I'll only put it in for a second.

Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.

The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away.

I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

If you ask me right now, you've seen the last of Mind of Mencia. I don't want to be a one-trick pony. I would rather walk away and do more movies, comedy and even some dramatic roles.