I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

If your gonna drop out of school / tough grades are not your goal / then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole.

I'm the only person on Earth who's not afraid to admit that black people are better dancers than white people! I said it, I said it! You were all thinking it, I said it!

If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn't get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that. Now I tell people.

The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away.

I don't need anybody, I'm successful in life enough to buy myself a f'ing sandwich.

I never, nor will I, put another person down to feel better about myself. I will live and die by what I do, not what anyone else thinks about me.