The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.

When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!

Here, let's go to my dressing room, and I promise, I'll only put it in for a second.

The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.

I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to. The reason why these rumors got started is that I don't really contest them because I don't believe they deserve contesting. I really don't.

I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

Do you think we care about the feelings of Native Americans when we celebrate Columbus Day? That's the day that the white man discovered a land where Indians had been living for a few thousand years.