I cried when I turned 34 for no other reason than 34 sounded old to me at the time.

There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage.

My kind of gay is like the late-breaking-lesbian kind of gay.

They're all sources of material. What I love about what I do, the more you talk about your life, there are so many people who have similar experiences.

I was over there in Hawaii. I was there on the big island. The 'Big Island' - that name cracks me up. First of all, it's not that big, so I'm pretty sure a guy came up with that name.

Been thinking about having a baby. But if I want to do it, I'd have to do it soon 'cause it's getting near closing time. The clock is ticking. My gynecologist said, if I wanted to have a baby, I would have to do it - the latest - by the ended of this show.

My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it,'