Long Island - if you're from out of town, how would I describe it? Well, every girl in my neighborhood looked like Kenny G.

The only thing I said to my parents when I was a teenager was Hang up, I got it!

There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage.

You know what kills me about Jennifer Lopez? The fact that this woman wakes up one day and she's like, 'You know what? From now on, I'd like people to call me J-Lo,' and then they do it. Only a celebrity can get away with this. George Bush doesn't come out for his morning press conferences: 'From now on, I'd like to be referred to as G-Bu. Y'all know my vice president, Dog Chain.

They're all sources of material. What I love about what I do, the more you talk about your life, there are so many people who have similar experiences.

Like a lot of women, I'm bisexual. Once I have sex with you - bye!

Oh, this is fun - went to a nude beach for the first time. Yeah, that's what I thought. You ever been to a nude beach? Thought it would be all sexy and hot. Oh my God, what a flubber fest! Everybody who shouldn't be naked is naked - didn't make me want to take off my clothes, made me want to take out my contacts.