Long Island - if you're from out of town, how would I describe it? Well, every girl in my neighborhood looked like Kenny G.

You can never go wrong betting on Americans' bad eating habits. So I've made a ton investing in all fast food chains, while at the same time investing in Dockers, spandex, Spanx, and sweatpants. Basically, anything with an elastic waistband is a goldmine.

They're all sources of material. What I love about what I do, the more you talk about your life, there are so many people who have similar experiences.

There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage.

My father was a really funny guy. He lived a good long life. And he was the reason I wanted to be funny and become a comedian and a comedy writer, so to say that he's somewhat of a mythic figure in my life would be an understatement.

The only thing I said to my parents when I was a teenager was Hang up, I got it!

I'm sorry I didn't have this revelation earlier. I sleep better and more soundly because I'm not participating anymore.