Some people have their marriages annulled, which means they never existed. Boy, talk about denial! What do you say when people see your wedding album? 'Oh that was just some play I was in.

I was watching Maury Povich the other day. He had these people on who say that they've had near death experiences. Do you ever notice they always say the same thing? 'I remember seeing this really bright, white light.' It's like, of course, you pinhead, it's the paramedic looking in your pupils with a penlight.

I suddenly had this really mad desire to have an affair with a woman. I was divorced. I was childless. I figured there's got to be one more way to really tick off my mom.

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff.

Just be your authentic self because there's nothing sexier or more beautiful than that.

I'm sorry I didn't have this revelation earlier. I sleep better and more soundly because I'm not participating anymore.