My father was the king of the joke-tellers. I was so impressed as a child watching him, holding people in rapt attention.

Women in the workplace - we still have big strides to make. Girlfriend of mine just got a new job. First question the new boss asked her was if she could make a good cup of coffee... Yeah, she stormed right out of that Starbucks.

Animal experiments are no joke. Thank goodness scientists are finding better, more humane ways to develop treatments for cancer and other killer diseases.

My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it,'

You can never go wrong betting on Americans' bad eating habits. So I've made a ton investing in all fast food chains, while at the same time investing in Dockers, spandex, Spanx, and sweatpants. Basically, anything with an elastic waistband is a goldmine.

I always say to women, 'Take advantage of the fact that you're in the minority, don't see it as a disadvantage. You're that much more unique when there's fewer of you.

Sex when you're married is like going to the 7-Eleven: There's not much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always there.