Just be your authentic self because there's nothing sexier or more beautiful than that.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage.

When you're single again, at the beginning you're very optimistic and you say, 'I want to meet someone who's really smart, really sweet, really sensitive.' And six months later you're like, 'Lord, any mammal with a day job.

The only thing I said to my parents when I was a teenager was Hang up, I got it!

They're all sources of material. What I love about what I do, the more you talk about your life, there are so many people who have similar experiences.

Stand-up comedy - I love this job, and I gotta tell you, folks - knock wood - it's been working. 'Cause I was one of those kind of people, even when I had a regular job, I couldn't even call in sick right. You know, I was like, 'Hello? Yeah, I can't come in today. I have scurvy.