Been thinking about having a baby. But if I want to do it, I'd have to do it soon 'cause it's getting near closing time. The clock is ticking. My gynecologist said, if I wanted to have a baby, I would have to do it - the latest - by the ended of this show.

It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, and he was a Klingon.

Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location.

They're all sources of material. What I love about what I do, the more you talk about your life, there are so many people who have similar experiences.

My father was the king of the joke-tellers. I was so impressed as a child watching him, holding people in rapt attention.

My kind of gay is like the late-breaking-lesbian kind of gay.

I don't exercise. My philosophy is: No pain, no pain.