It is not always people who start out the smartest who end up the smartest.

What did you learn today? What mistake did you make that taught you something? What did you try hard at today?

Important achievements require a clear focus, all-out effort, and a bottomless trunk full of strategies. Plus allies in learning.

This point is . . . crucial,” writes Dweck. “In the fixed mindset, everything is about the outcome. If you fail — or if you’re not the best — it’s all been wasted. The growth mindset allows people to value what they’re doing regardless of the outcome.

Did I win? Did I lose? Those are the wrong questions. The correct question is: Did I make my best effort?” If so, he says, “You may be outscored but you will never lose.

So what should we say when children complete a task—say, math problems—quickly and perfectly? Should we deny them the praise they have earned? Yes. When this happens, I say, “Whoops. I guess that was too easy. I apologize for wasting your time. Let’s do something you can really learn from!

I don’t mind losing as long as I see improvement or I feel I’ve done as well as I possibly could.