Moving is hard. Staying is easy. Logistically speaking, at least. And this is true whether you're doing or undoing something.

I actually recommend as little actual counting as possible in a life partnership. But, when there's a sense of injustice brewing between you, some counting is inevitable, and so my advice is to count using as broad a scope as possible. It's not just hours worked or chores done, either, and it's not even just about the household - it's a system of Whole Marriage Thinking. It's about hours worked, chores done, goals supported, emotional needs met, everything. What it all takes out of you, what it all gives back. It all factors in.

Once given, a gift is yours to use, store or dispose of as you see fit.

Live in the moment, this moment, your moment. That is by far and without meaningful rival The Best Position to put yourself in to discover and delight in who your children turn out to be, whoever they turn out to be.

Apparently you have ample proof from experience that you're not going to stop world evil by debating your in-laws into submission, so it's okay to choose not to try.

Separation is where you see if it works better with the adults in two different homes.

The most reliable ways to make oneself miserable are attempting to change people and not attempting to change circumstances.