Nobody wants to read about a good-looking happy person.

As a matter of fact [my mother] is very happily married. To a very nice southern gentleman named Roanoke - her first non-Jewish husband, as she likes to say.

Saying you're an alcoholic and an addict is like saying you're from Los Angeles and from California.

I can like men who are a little light in the loafers.

I envy people who have the capacity to sit with another human being and find them endlessly interesting, I would rather watch TV. Of course this becomes eventually known to the other person.

Mothers are great. They outlast everything. But when they're bad, they're the worst thing that can happen.

Here's what I've learned: that someone can change the course of history with a box cutter.