I think that the truth is a really stern taskmistress.

All I can say is that when millions of plastic dolls of you are being sold each day and an equal number of teenage boys are masturbating over you each night, it's bound to do something screwy to your psyche.

I've often said to myself, "Thank God I can write, 'cause this is hilarious." I actually wanted to go into all that more in the book, but my editor thought it was too crazy.

You know how they say that religion is the opiate of the masses? Well I took masses of opiates religiously.

I love the idea of God, but it's not stylistically in keeping with the way I function. I would describe myself as an enthusiastic agnostic who would be happy to be shown that there is a God. I can see that people who believe in God are happier. ... But I doubt.

Meryl [Streep] plays the me-ish character. I love Meryl. She's totally wonderful.

I'd like to wear my old [cinnamon buns] hairstyle again - but with white hair. I think that would be funny.