I quote fictional characters, because I'm a fictional character myself!

All I can say is that when millions of plastic dolls of you are being sold each day and an equal number of teenage boys are masturbating over you each night, it's bound to do something screwy to your psyche.

As a matter of fact [my mother] is very happily married. To a very nice southern gentleman named Roanoke - her first non-Jewish husband, as she likes to say.

I still give my friends relationship advice, of course, and I'm not bad at it. 'Anyone's crisis but mine' is my motto.

We live in America,' he said. 'Everyone who speaks English understands you. How they interpret you is something else.

My inner world seems largely to consist of three rotating emotions: embarrassment, rage, and tension. Sometimes I feel excited, but I think that's just positive tension.

I don't think Christmas is necessarily about things. It's about being good to one another, it's about the Christian ethic, it's about kindness.