I got a postcard from my gynecologist. It said, Did you know it's time for your annual check-up? No, but now my mailman does.

I don't have any kids. Well, at least none I know about.

My parents only had one argument in 45 years. It lasted 43 years.

Jews can't serve on juries because they insist they're guilty.

I think racism is a terrible thing. I think we should all learn to hate each other on a individual basis.

All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.

Marriage is very difficult. Marriage is like a five-thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky.