Marriage is like a 5,000- piece jigsaw of the sky.
I got a postcard from my gynecologist. It said, Did you know it's time for your annual check-up? No, but now my mailman does.
I don't have any kids. Well, at least none I know about.
All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.
My parents only had one argument in 45 years. It lasted 43 years.
Makeup is such a weird concept. I'll wake up in the morning and look in the mirror. 'Gee, I really don't look so good. Maybe if my eyelids were blue, I'd be more attractive.